Cultivating Calm in High Stakes Situations
Dear Work Wise,
I would like to know how to think on my feet in high stakes situations. Recently, I had some job interviews and informational meetings that caught me off guard with an intimidating panel dynamic and hard questions outside of my areas of expertise. I froze up and was not able to think clearly, which was really embarrassing and a shot to my confidence overall. What are strategies to bring forth my best thinking in such intimidating situations?
___________________________________________________________________________________________
First of all, you survived what sounds like some heart-pounding and not uncommon scenarios in a professional context as you seek to advance in your career. Hindsight can be 20-20 and it’s always easier to think of the perfect response with time and distance, but how do you do it in the moment? Here are six strategies, none of which are rocket science, nor quick fixes, but over time should yield better results under pressure.
Prepare for the situation with adequate study and prep. I sometimes am surprised by the frequent assumption that “competent professionals” need not prepare a lot when it comes to speaking about themselves and their areas of expertise. This is the farthest thing from the truth. With a job interview, it’s important to reflect on relevant skills and experiences for the particular role you are interviewing for, and to research the organization and individuals you are meeting with, (E.g., organizational websites, press releases, company reports, white papers, Linked In profiles) Doing your homework means not just reviewing information online or in your head, but also anticipating questions and practicing out loud to the point that you find an organized, pithy, and conversational flow with your stories as the relate to the opportunity you are seeking. If it’s a big presentation, it’s important to spend an equal amount of time on both content and the presentation of it. Too often, the presentation is an afterthought to sweating out the content.
Choose and repeat a calming and self-fulfilling message in advance of the meeting. Our thinking impacts our feelings which impacts our behavior. Prior to any high stakes interview or meeting, think about how you want to feel and act and what you need to cultivate for the situation at hand. Choose 3-4 attributes, whether “courageous, calm, confident, agile” that you want to personify, and feel stretched to embody in the context, and create an inspiring mantra, such as “I am a courageous, calm, and confident leader.” Say it out loud, repeat it in your head, and/or even meditate on this mantra. While it may sound “woo-woo,” this practice calms the nervous system and focuses your brain, and sets a self-fulfilling prophecy for you to step into, almost akin to a visualization for an athlete.
Take the time you need to answer (or not answer) the questions. There is nothing wrong with a healthy pause before you answer a thought-provoking question. I encourage clients to acknowledge that the question requires a moment to reflect upon, which is a compliment to the the question-asker. I also encourage professionals to speak their words deliberately and with care, and slow down, so they have more space to think as they are talking. If you don’t know the answer or the topic is outside of your expertise, be honest about it and speak to what you do know and what you can offer. As you allude to in scenarios above, you cannot always anticipate the variables of what all the stakeholders are expecting or wanting, and it’s important to expect the possibility that things will not always go as planned and you will be able to flex and redirect your plans for the scenario at hand.
Be a keen observer and evaluator of your audience (not just an interviewee): Don’t forget that while you are seeking an opportunity and/or seeking to influence others, you also can be reciprocally evaluating this group and/or organization to glean helpful signals. Sometimes, it’s too easy to get caught up in one’s own desire to perform and forget to evaluate or decipher the dynamics in the room. This can lead to you failing to ask the hard questions or naming the elephant in the room.
Practice pithy presentation on a daily basis. If you want to cultivate your presentation and thinking under pressure, my colleague and speech coach, Jezra Kaye, recommends that you practice presentation on a daily basis in ordinary interactions, whether explaining a weekend plan to your children, relaying a funny personal incident to your partner or breaking down a service failure to the cable company. Make it a game to enunciate as clearly and crisply as you can, and eliminate filler words such as “Umm” or “Like.” Communicating with confidence and clarity will start to become second nature.
Integrate mindfulness techniques in your life. Finally, to think under pressure and observe dynamics of any situation, there is no better training than mindfulness practices. While it can feel onerous for some to be still and tune into one’s breadth and body for several minutes of time, there are many ways to integrate mindfulness that do not involve a lot of time. It could be as simple as breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth with for 5 breadths. It could be getting off a device and tuning into the sounds and sights all around you while on your commute home. It could be taking just 3-5 minutes with your morning coffee to close your eyes, clear your head and tune into the physical body, breadth and surroundings.
Bringing out your best in high-stakes situations means dedicating yourself to ongoing practices that cultivate calm and confidence. And even if the experience of a high-stakes situation feels dreadful on the inside, it’s likely that you will be perceived much more calm and collected on the outside with ongoing dedication to the aforementioned practices.
